Is the word ‘holiday’ synonymous with ‘stress’ for you? Does the thought of tackling all of your usual holiday tasks and activities turn you into a Grinch or an Ebenezer Scrooge? Are you struggling to be the happy, upbeat Clark Griswald or Buddy the Elf?
It’s time to take back your holiday. For many of us, 2016 has had enough negativity and stress. This holiday season, we’re going to get rid of that stress (and a few unwanted activities along the way).
5 Steps to a More Joyful & Less Stressful Holiday
Before we begin our 5 step approach, I need you to take a few minutes and identify how you most want your holidays to feel. This feeling will be the filter for everything else we do here. This is important, so don’t skip it. Decide what you want your holidays to be like and then get started with the 5 steps below.
1) Make a List. Write down all of the activities or traditions you usually do or that you know you will be putting on the schedule. This list may include: writing Christmas cards, wrapping endless gifts, going to your husband’s work Christmas party, attending your nephew’s Christmas play (yes, he IS the most adorable elf), or maybe even having the annual cookie baking day with your least favorite aunts.
2) Assess Your List. Now, take a look at the various activities on your list. It’s time to give each activity the Martha Beck “Shackles on/Shackles off” test. The idea of the test is to imagine yourself completing the activity, and then ask, “Do I feel like I have shackles on or off?” Does this activity give me the feeling of being in chains or a noose? Or does this activity delight me and make me feel like I’ve shed my chains? Martha proposes that you fill in the blank: “When I let this person, place or thing fill my conscious mind, my body and mood react in the following ways:_________.” Ask yourself how each activity from your holiday list makes you feel and react.
3) Start Crossing Off Activities. Grab your pen again and let’s hack up your list. Basically, if the idea of the activity doesn’t light you up, cross it off of your list. Now. Seriously. Mark it off . Go through and cross off all of the tasks that don’t make you feel the way you initially identified wanting your holidays to feel. Don’t give in to guilt or pressure. Mark them off!
4) Handle Any Dilemmas. What if you can’t get out of something? Or what if you just don’t want to give it up? For those activities that you’re struggling with eliminating, try using these 3 B’s to problem solve your dilemma:
Bag it…be a rebel and just don’t do it this year. Get gifts that require no wrapping (i.e gift cards or make a donation to a charity in Uncle Bob’s name). Skip hanging the 5 billion Christmas lights up and accept that your front door wreath is sufficient. If you’re dreading the activity, skip it all together this year. The calendar will still change to 2017 if you don’t do it.
Barter it….get someone else to do it for you. Find a friend or neighbor who has an equally disdained activity and offer to swap. Invite friends over and offer to feed them pizza if they wrap gifts for you. Pay the neighbor’s kid to put up your decorations. Pick up a pre-made cake (gasp) from the bakery instead of baking one. What kind of swap can lessen the agony of the activity?
Better it…if you absolutely can’t get out of it, do anything possible to make it more enjoyable. Turn on your favorite music. Have your favorite winter beverage with you. Buy pre-made wrap (bags with tissue already in it or decorative boxes you can just put the gift in). Invite your friend to wrap her presents with you over Skype if she lives in another city. Whatever is needed to turn a dreaded task into a little more of a delight, do it.
5) Stick with Your Decision. The nature of a woman is to take care of everyone else’s wish list first. But, you’ve got to do a self assessment and consciously check to make sure the things YOU most want to do actually get done. Make sure those activities that light you up and bring the good feelings you want to experience are scheduled on your calendar with a firm “no canceling” rule. Don’t be tempted to give up those things that really matter to YOU and bring you joy.
Approaching your holiday to-do list in this manner will empower you to make decisions that move you toward a stress-free, no-hassle holiday season! Get ready for a little more peace on earth; well, at least a little more peace in your holiday.
Happy Holidays from Wayfinding Women!
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