A few evenings ago, David and I took a picnic to Roanhead Beach here in Cumbria. Weather cooperating, this will the location for #2wedding, our hand-fasting ceremony, on the 25th of this month! WOOP!
Lately, I find myself wanting to slow down and savour everything about the final days of summer.
After arriving home and while writing cards, I was listening to my ABBA Spotify playlist. Somewhere between Dancing Queen and Super Trouper, I recognised John Denver’s voice.? NOW I was paying attention; WHAT is John Denver doing on my ABBA playlist? (this organized brain doesn’t understand mixes unless it says it’s a mix!). John is one of my all-time favourite singer-songwriters, not to mention beloved human beings. Our relationship goes WAY back. Since a young girl, I was drawn to his laid back nature…how he would randomly shout, “FAR OUT!” and then chuckle to himself. How very unpretentious he was in his conversations with his band and his audiences, and how easy and sincere was his laughter.
This is an authenticity to me. As a result, I sometimes, snort (or worse?)
My first vocal solo, in a dormitory cafeteria at a Student Leadership Conference at Indiana University, age 13, was Denver’s, “Leaving on a Jet Plane”. Who would have ever imagined that would become my theme song!? ✈️
I’d just started my period and standing up felt like Niagara Falls in my knickers! The thought of getting up in front of hundreds of people was mortifying considering what might happen..that, and never having sung alone before. But the desire to sing was SO strong. Plus a wonderful young man had spent hours practicing the piece on the piano to accompany me. I didn’t want to miss it. Legs shaking violently, I propped myself up against the old metal tray rail so as not to fall over. I sang I loved it, and at the end, the audience gave me a standing ovation. That was pretty FAR OUT.
A few years later, as a camp counsellor in northern Indiana, I have bestowed the nickname, “Annie”. Of course, “Annie’s Song” is one of John’s greatest hits. For several summers, I sang his songs to the young girls in my charge, while we sat around campfires late at night or in a circle on the cabin floor before sleep.
Sitting in our flat in Ulverston, I recognised the song… “Today“. A winsome ballad played on a 12 string guitar. Time magically transported me back to the nights I sang it as a lullaby to my beautiful daughter, Kate…then again propelled me forward to when she was older, when we would sing it together in the car or the grocery store. Being without her in my life at present makes it extra poignant. (Check Today by John Denver here, 12/10/87)
This song has always put a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. It cuts right to the core of the mother of all rumbles that confront every one of us at some time in our life: our certain mortality. Martha Beck said during one of our classes, that death is mankind’s greatest fear. She added this little truism with her mischievous wit “no one gets out of here alive”.
Over the past several weeks, there’ve been many friends posting and clients processing their devastation at unexpected passings…it kind of feels like some mass exodus from this earth. Some sudden endings just break your heart in two. One was a father taking his daughter back to college for her senior year…both were gone in an instant.
As I get closer to 60, the message about savouring today feels imperative to pay attention to. While not afraid of death, I am acutely aware that, as far as my time spent on this earthly plane, there are far fewer days ahead of me than those already behind.
Dr Judith Rich wrote as she entered her 8th decade:
“Our ‘job’, as humans, is to keep opening ourselves to the infinite possibilities for grace and beauty, joy, love and abundance that await us at every turn of the dial in every single day. We can focus on the problems and be consumed with what’s wrong with the world. Or we can treasure this moment and the opportunities that await our embrace.”
